How To Document Threats, Harassment, Stalking, And Violence
What This Guide Helps You Build
This guide helps you record a pattern without provoking more contact, exposing your evidence, or trading safety for one more screenshot.
Do This First
- If the person is present, following you, forcing entry, threatening immediate harm, displaying a weapon, or hurting someone, move toward safety and call 911.
- Use a safer device if the person may monitor your phone, browser, accounts, vehicle, or home network.
- Save existing messages, voicemails, camera clips, tracker alerts, and photos before blocking, reporting, or changing accounts.
What You Need
- A secure incident log the other person cannot access
- A protected evidence folder and a second backup
- A trusted contact who knows the plan
- Police, court, employer, school, housing, or platform report numbers
- A written emergency code word and response instruction
1. Choose A Safe Place To Document
Prevent the documentation itself from exposing your plan or location.
A shared phone plan, cloud account, family tablet, connected car, smart-home account, or browser history may expose what you are doing. If the person has physical or account access, changing settings can also alert them. Decide where the log and evidence can be kept before you begin.
A safer device may be a trusted person's phone, a library computer, or a new account created from a device the other person has never controlled. Do not store the only copy in an email or cloud account they may access.
Do This In Order
- List every device, account, vehicle, and smart-home system the person may access.
- Choose a secure storage location and a separate backup location.
- Turn off lock-screen previews for sensitive safety messages if doing so will not create more danger.
- Give one trusted person a copy of the plan and explain when to call police.
- Use a neutral folder or account name if discovery would increase risk.
Use These Resources
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Documenting AbuseShows what to preserve and how to store it away from an abusive person.
- Safety Net Project Documentation TipsAddresses technology abuse, stalking evidence, and survivor safety.
- Apple Safety CheckReviews device sharing, account access, and personal-safety settings.
2. Record Every Incident The Same Way
Show the course of conduct instead of relying on a single dramatic event.
Start a new row for every unwanted message, appearance, drive-by, following event, gift, threat, account intrusion, property incident, contact through another person, or violation of a boundary or order. Small incidents can matter because repetition, timing, and escalation show a pattern.
Write what happened, not what you believe the person intended. Record how the behavior changed your routine or safety, such as leaving work through another exit, staying elsewhere, calling security, or missing school.
Do This In Order
- Record date, time, location, method, exact behavior, and exact words when important.
- Identify witnesses, nearby cameras, vehicles, accounts, phone numbers, and usernames.
- Record evidence filenames and report or case numbers.
- Record your safety response and any practical impact.
- Mark whether the behavior was new, repeated, or more serious than earlier conduct.
Use These Resources
- SPARC Stalking Incident And Behavior LogA printable incident log created for stalking patterns.
- SPARC: What To Do If You Are Being StalkedIncludes safety, documentation, and evidence-preservation guidance.
3. Preserve Contact Before You Block Or Report It
Keep identity, timestamps, context, and the original communication.
Capture the sender identifier, date, time, platform, direct URL when applicable, and enough surrounding context to understand the exchange. Save voicemail audio when possible and retain the call-log entry. For impersonation or fake profiles, capture the profile URL, username, display name, account ID when visible, and the content sent or posted.
Blocking can be part of a safety plan, but blocking before preservation may make content harder to recover. Reporting a post may also remove it. Preserve first when it is safe to do so.
Do This In Order
- Export the conversation or download the content when the platform offers it.
- Capture full-screen context and close views of the key content.
- Save original voicemails, attachments, and media.
- Record any account-name, number, or profile changes.
- Do not reply merely to create a stronger threat or admission.
Use These Resources
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Documenting AbuseShows what to preserve and how to store it away from an abusive person.
- Safety Net Project Documentation TipsAddresses technology abuse, stalking evidence, and survivor safety.
4. Document In-Person Conduct Without Moving Toward Danger
Capture what happened while prioritizing distance, witnesses, and escape.
Do not follow the person, arrange a meeting, return to an unsafe location, or stand nearby for better footage. Move toward people, lighting, staffed businesses, security, or police. If driving, do not lead a suspected follower home; drive to a police or other safe public location when practical.
After you are safe, write the sequence while it is fresh. Include direction of travel, vehicle description and plate if safely observed, clothing, statements, physical actions, witnesses, cameras, and where the person appeared to arrive from or leave toward.
Do This In Order
- Record the first moment you noticed the person and the last moment you saw them.
- Identify safe third-party cameras without trespassing or demanding footage.
- Photograph injuries or damage and seek medical care when needed.
- Record what you told 911, security, a manager, school, or another responder.
- Do not publicly post your live location, route, or evidence plan.
Use These Resources
- CISA Personal Security Considerations Action GuideCovers situational awareness, home protection, travel, and personal safety.
- RAINN Safety PlanningProvides trauma-informed safety planning for assault, harassment, and stalking.
5. Track Escalation And Access, Not Just Contact Count
Identify changes that may require a different safety response.
A risk pattern is more than the number of messages. Note access to firearms or other weapons, forced entry, strangulation, threats of suicide or homicide, threats toward children or pets, surveillance, location knowledge, device access, order violations, job or housing disruption, and sudden changes after separation, reporting, blocking, or court action.
Do not assign your own danger score and treat it as a professional assessment. Use the pattern to communicate what changed and ask an advocate, law enforcement officer, attorney, school, employer, or security professional to reassess the plan.
Do This In Order
- Create a short list of new or escalating behaviors.
- Record the person's known access to your home, work, school, vehicle, accounts, and routine.
- Record explicit and implied threats exactly.
- Record every court-order or no-contact violation separately.
- Update trusted contacts when the behavior changes.
Use These Resources
- SPARC: What To Do If You Are Being StalkedIncludes safety, documentation, and evidence-preservation guidance.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline Safety Planning ToolBuilds a private, device-local safety plan.
6. Create A Reporting Packet That Starts With The Pattern
Help the recipient understand repeated conduct without reading every message first.
Lead with a one-page summary of the relationship or connection, date range, methods used, most recent incident, most serious incident, escalation, current access, existing orders, report numbers, and the protection or action you are requesting. Attach the incident log and a priority evidence set.
Keep different reporting channels separate. A police report, protection-order filing, employer report, school report, housing report, and platform report may require different facts and different privacy limits.
Do This In Order
- State the pattern in chronological order without diagnosing the person.
- Identify the immediate safety concern and access points.
- Attach the incident log and evidence index.
- Include prior report numbers and the names of agencies or organizations already involved.
- Ask how supplemental evidence should be submitted and record the answer.
Use These Resources
- SPARC: What To Do If You Are Being StalkedIncludes safety, documentation, and evidence-preservation guidance.
- Safety Net Project Documentation TipsAddresses technology abuse, stalking evidence, and survivor safety.
7. Build A Contact And Movement Plan
Decide what happens before the next contact instead of improvising during it.
Set a code word, who receives it, what they do, when they call 911, where you go, how children or pets are handled, and what happens if your phone is lost or monitored. Use backup routes and meeting places. Tell workplaces, schools, housing staff, or building security only what they need to act safely.
A plan should not require you to collect more proof during danger. Its job is to create distance, alert the right people, and preserve the information that already exists.
Do This In Order
- Choose primary and backup safe destinations.
- Choose a code word and write the exact response instruction.
- List emergency, advocate, legal, school, workplace, housing, and security contacts.
- Decide what information can be shared and with whom.
- Practice the plan and update it after any escalation or access change.
Use These Resources
- National Domestic Violence Hotline Safety Planning ToolBuilds a private, device-local safety plan.
- Ready.gov Family Communication PlanProvides communication, contact, and meeting-place planning tools.
Check Your Work
- The log records every incident consistently, including small repeated conduct.
- Original messages, voicemails, posts, camera clips, photos, and tracker alerts are preserved.
- The evidence is stored somewhere the other person cannot access.
- The summary explains escalation, access, and current safety concerns.
- Trusted contacts know the code word and exact response.
- Existing police, court, employer, school, housing, and platform report numbers are recorded.
- The plan does not require confrontation or live evidence collection during danger.
When To Stop Doing This Yourself
- Call 911 for immediate threats, forced entry, violence, strangulation, kidnapping, weapon display, active following, or danger to a child or vulnerable person.
- Use a domestic-violence, stalking, sexual-assault, or victim advocate when the person has coercive control, shared children, shared housing, device access, or a history of violence.
- Do not remove a suspected tracker, reset a device, change a shared account, or confront the person until you consider whether the change could reveal your actions or increase danger.
- Do not investigate, follow, bait, threaten, impersonate, or publicly accuse the person to create evidence.
Questions People Ask
If it is safe, one clear boundary may help document that contact is unwanted. Do not repeatedly respond, debate, threaten, or arrange a meeting. An advocate, attorney, or officer may recommend a different approach for your situation.
Preserve existing evidence first when safe. Blocking may help, but it can also change the person's method of contact or trigger escalation. Make the decision as part of a safety plan rather than as an evidence tactic.
Recording law varies by state and by the locations of everyone involved. Check current law before recording. Written contemporaneous notes are still useful and do not require you to provoke a conversation.
Record it anyway. Repetition, multiple channels, location knowledge, order violations, and escalation can matter even when one event looks minor by itself.
Related Resources
Source Library
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Documenting Abuse
Shows what to preserve and how to store it away from an abusive person.
- Safety Net Project Documentation Tips
Addresses technology abuse, stalking evidence, and survivor safety.
- Apple Safety Check
Reviews device sharing, account access, and personal-safety settings.
- SPARC Stalking Incident And Behavior Log
A printable incident log created for stalking patterns.
- SPARC: What To Do If You Are Being Stalked
Includes safety, documentation, and evidence-preservation guidance.
- CISA Personal Security Considerations Action Guide
Covers situational awareness, home protection, travel, and personal safety.
- RAINN Safety Planning
Provides trauma-informed safety planning for assault, harassment, and stalking.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline Safety Planning Tool
Builds a private, device-local safety plan.
- Ready.gov Family Communication Plan
Provides communication, contact, and meeting-place planning tools.